The other big news is that L rolled back to front this month. Finally. Actually, he was so delayed in rolling that I met with his pediatrician who suggested we contact early intervention. We are still waiting for an assessment. We did do the screening and they suggested moving forward with that so we are. He's still a bit behind with gross motor skills (and communication), so it really can't hurt to meet and see if we can improve his skills. He is not crawling (people keep asking me that, but he literally just rolled over so it's going to be a while). He can sit for long periods of time, but cannot sit up on his own or go from sitting to laying down unless it's accidental. His fine motor skills are pretty good. He is working hard on developing his pincer grip. He is also trying to clap his hands. He will give us "high five" a lot, but doesn't seem to want to do it against his own hand. He shakes his head "no" when you say no. He thinks this is very funny.
I think the whole situation with L being behind was rather hard for me. I didn't want my baby late for milestones. I was comparing him to other babies. And it wasn't really fair for him or for me. The reality is that my value as a mother and his value as a person is not based on his abilities, but based on who he is. He has inherent value as a child of God. Each of us has inherent value as an image bearer of God. There is reason to celebrate when he reaches milestones. There is reason to work with him more effectively. But there was no reason to be disappointed or less proud of my child just because his accomplishments took longer to achieve. Watching him develop is really cool, even if it means I have to be patient. And it's something I am still working on. And in the meantime, I'm trying to do the best for him that I can. And he is such a sweet baby with a calm temperament. He is curious and thoughtful. And very cuddly and warm.
This month was also hard for me because my old nemesis, insomnia, came back. Sigh. This last round was fairly intense for me. I don't know if it was the sudden hormonal change with stopping BFing, Luke getting sick or what, but it was rough. However, God really worked in my heart. I feel like he laid bare all the minor things I was consumed with and made me realize how insignificant a lot of those things were. And the importance of relying on Him for my daily bread and strength during the day, rather than focusing inward. 1 Peter 5 was part of my daily readings during this time, and I feel like really helped bring focus and clarity to the situation, especially knowing that my suffering was temporary.