8 months

It's definitely time for a blog update. This past month has been a whirlwind to say the least. L is now 8 months old! It's crazy that he is only 4 months away from being a year old. How did that happen? Anyway, we are doing well. A couple of big changes happened this month. The first is that I weaned L completely. I had been breastfeeding him once in the morning, but L now has 2 teeth in and umm... ouch! I would like to say our last session was sweet and wonderful, but it was much more, "ow, that really hurts. You want to try again? Oh, no. Ow! Okay, we're done here." Once we stopped our one session, I just wanted to be done. I pumped twice a day for a few weeks and then just once a day in the evenings for a little. My milk turned watery blue. I tried every other day. The first time I went 48 hours, it hurt quite a bit, but then I was done. I pumped one last time and then it was over. I cleaned and sterilized the pumping stuff and put it all away. And it was good. I accomplished my goal of 6 months. I exceeded my goal. And I was ready and L was ready and so we stopped. The biggest downside is that formula is expensive compared to free, but it's okay. L takes 4 bottles a day of 6-7 ounces each and 3 solid meals a day. It works for us. I think in the next month we may be dropping one of the bottles. He barely drinks/loses interest in the morning bottle, so I may drop that one and see how he does. He eats a LOT of solids, so I think he may be okay if we do that. I just may have to slightly increase his solids. He eats mostly purees, but he is showing clear signs for being ready for finger foods, so we'll probably start that soon. He also eats the teether crackers and puffs. 

The other big news is that L rolled back to front this month. Finally. Actually, he was so delayed in rolling that I met with his pediatrician who suggested we contact early intervention. We are still waiting for an assessment. We did do the screening and they suggested moving forward with that so we are. He's still a bit behind with gross motor skills (and communication), so it really can't hurt to meet and see if we can improve his skills. He is not crawling (people keep asking me that, but he literally just rolled over so it's going to be a while). He can sit for long periods of time, but cannot sit up on his own or go from sitting to laying down unless it's accidental. His fine motor skills are pretty good. He is working hard on developing his pincer grip. He is also trying to clap his hands. He will give us "high five" a lot, but doesn't seem to want to do it against his own hand. He shakes his head "no" when you say no. He thinks this is very funny. 

I think the whole situation with L being behind was rather hard for me. I didn't want my baby late for milestones. I was comparing him to other babies. And it wasn't really fair for him or for me. The reality is that my value as a mother and his value as a person is not based on his abilities, but based on who he is. He has inherent value as a child of God. Each of us has inherent value as an image bearer of God. There is reason to celebrate when he reaches milestones. There is reason to work with him more effectively. But there was no reason to be disappointed or less proud of my child just because his accomplishments took longer to achieve. Watching him develop is really cool, even if it means I have to be patient. And it's something I am still working on. And in the meantime, I'm trying to do the best for him that I can. And he is such a sweet baby with a calm temperament. He is curious and thoughtful. And very cuddly and warm. 

This month was also hard for me because my old nemesis, insomnia, came back. Sigh. This last round was fairly intense for me. I don't know if it was the sudden hormonal change with stopping BFing, Luke getting sick or what, but it was rough. However, God really worked in my heart. I feel like he laid bare all the minor things I was consumed with and made me realize how insignificant a lot of those things were. And the importance of relying on Him for my daily bread and strength during the day, rather than focusing inward. 1 Peter 5 was part of my daily readings during this time, and I feel like really helped bring focus and clarity to the situation, especially knowing that my suffering was temporary. 

All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud

    but shows favor to the humble.”[a]

6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

I think God finally gave relief when I submitted fully to His will and laid it all down before Him. It's a daily struggle that I am working through, to not let anxiety rule over my life. I am trying to value and enjoy each day rather than worry. But, it's tough to stop negative thought processes that have been there for a long time. 

This is getting long and I'm pretty sure L will be up from his nap soon. So, if you've made it this far. Here are some pictures from this month (or one day in the park last week).