Sparks Fly: Christmas re-cap

Hello! Happy New Year! I feel like I am slowing coming up for air after the Christmas break. L's first Christmas was... a little disappointing to be honest. I'm really glad he won't remember it. Christmas Eve, L started acting really fussy and wanted to nap all day long. Since I have already talked about the catnapping, you know that long naps are unusual. At around 2 pm, I decided to take his temperature, just in case. Yea, it was creeping up towards 102. At this point, I felt like a horrible parent for not checking it sooner. Luckily, I had packed both a thermometer and Infant Tylenol. We gave him Tylenol, called the pediatrician and waited it out. On the Tylenol, it started going down, thankfully, so we didn't end up going to the ER or Urgent Care. His fever broke that night... around the same time that mine started. I was so sick on Christmas Day, like couldn't pick up the baby sick, not able to move sick. It was awful. L was still fussy and J and my mom were starting to feel ill. My dad really came to the rescue here. He never caught what we had and was willing to walk L around the house for hours to calm him down. He also slept in the same room as L and co-slept with him in the morning so I could get more rest. My mom and I were about 12 hours offset, so she ended up holding L for naps Christmas Day and I did the day after (L was too sick to tolerate being put down for naps). My milk supply also plummeted and I was so thankful I had picked up some formula for the trip (it recovered after about 3 days). So, we never went to Christmas Eve service or to our friend's house for Christmas Day. Bummer. We were also too sick to go to my in-laws when we had planned on it, so that visit got cut short and we didn't end up seeing J's cousins. So, all in all, could have been better. I'm 80% sure we all had the flu. My in-laws also had the flu, so we were all just sort of sick and miserable. Last year, I was pregnant with L and threw up all of Christmas, so next year -- no more sickness at Christmas (New Years Resolution?)!

Prior to our Christmas, L had his 4 month checkup. He did better with shots this time around (yay). He was 16.88 lbs and 26 inches long, which puts him around the 80th percentile for things. After Christmas, J and I both had a week off to spend with L. It was really, really great! We went on some walks, played with him and let him nap in my arms and re-watched House of Cards on mute with captions during naps. He has started getting more interactive. Still no rolling, but he works pretty hard at it when on his tummy. He's growing hair! It's so cute and soft. I think the color is a blondish brown. Eyes are still hazel. He also has been laughing a lot more, which is great.

His sleep has gotten... interesting. We have good days/nights and bad days/nights. J has been really great and has let me sleep and handled some of the wakings. L gets so fussy when he doesn't sleep well (just like his mommy), and I feel so bad for him. I honestly am not sure how to help him more than I am because I am not ready for sleep training yet. I will say I have stopped responding as quickly and he has fussed himself back to sleep a few times.

There's so much more I could write here... so many more thoughts that I have swimming in my head. Most of it fellow moms would recognize. How God has shown me grace with the sleep regression. How He has given me enough sleep and strength to face each day (although I sometimes get cranky). How God is showing me the little blessings. For so long, I have been focused on how hard everything is and needing a break. It is hard, but God has been working in my heart to change my attitude and focus on the unique time that we are in. L won't be a baby forever and I am sure to look back on this time with fondness. And all of the smiles and giggles are just so amazing. I am so enjoying watching L develop and start grasping objects and understanding the world around him a little more. And there is something so precious about a baby sleeping in your arms (albeit less sweet at 3 am). God is still working on the pride in my heart. I see other babies achieve milestones that mine hasn't and I get... well... jealous. Am I doing something wrong? Is my baby not as good? But, that isn't fair to me and it certainly isn't fair to L. He will do things when he is ready. He is developmentally on track and is healthy, and I need to focus on his achievements as they are and not in comparison. It's a lesson I think I will learn over and over and over again as he grows. All we can do is love him and teach him in our own way. And try not to worry about the rest. Having a baby makes it quite plain how little control you actually have. And I need to learn over and over again just to roll with it. I get so hung up on doing the "right" thing instead of just enjoying playing with L.

Anyway, I am completely rambling at this point... there is more going on, so much more. But this is enough sharing for now.

Pictures!

Sitting in his high chair (no solids yet)